Talking is the exchange of ideas. Psychology believes that: human thinking is closely linked with language, thinking is achieved with the help of language, language is the direct expression of thinking, is a tool for people to exchange ideas. People communicate the experience and thoughts existing in their own minds to others more accurately through language, and they can also accept each other's experience and thoughts through language, so as to achieve the purpose of exchanging thoughts and understanding each other. Therefore, through talking to your child, you can grasp the dynamics of your child's thoughts in a timely manner and help your child learn to deal with the problems encountered in life correctly.

How to talk to your child? As the saying goes, a mother raises nine children, and nine children have nine sorts. There should be different methods for children with different personalities. In general, we can go from the following aspects.

First, the rapport, create the atmosphere of conversation

Good relations between parents and children, is a good base for the exchange of ideas, some parents usually and children's thought exchanges are very little, after the problem occurred after the child severely reprimanded, over time, the emotional distance gradually widened, or in the child does not go along with their own heart, the big card gas, so that the child has a rebellious mentality, the relationship between the relationship is in a difficult situation. Talking in this situation is not effective. For this reason, talk to the child, first of all, to create a harmonious atmosphere, tell a joke, tell something delightful, close the emotional distance, the effect will be much better.

Second, the use of typical, good grasp of the opportunity to talk

Children themselves and the surrounding environment may occur at any time some things, if you catch the typical events, timely exchange of ideas, the effect should be better than usual, a first-year female students, outside the school by the same school boys molestation, the female students home to her parents about it, her parents are not downplayed that do not care about the molestation of the boys, but rather inspire her how to deal with this kind of thing, so that she enhances the She was able to learn how to protect herself. Afterwards, she reflected the matter to her teacher, so that the problem was dealt with in a timely manner.

Generally speaking, after the parent-teacher conference is the time when children are most eager to talk to their parents, and seizing this opportunity, one can learn a lot about their children. A senior male student, usually do not pay enough attention to their own learning, midterm examination results "tail". After the parent-teacher conference, he was anxious to know what happened at the parent-teacher conference. The student's mother did not loudly reprimand the child, she seized this sensitive moment, said to the child kindly: "I feel embarrassed at the parent-teacher conference, but also proved that I usually care too little about you. I only hope you find out the reason for your failure and fight for me in the final exam." The child, who respected his mother, reported frankly to her about his lazy and playful behaviour and said that he would catch up in the future. Later, he did make great progress. Seize the time to talk about an issue that concerns the child, and the child is apt to listen.
Third, targeted, clear theme
For what the child's thoughts, to solve what the child's problems, to do the chest, in the conversation, around the theme of two-way communication, so that the child has something to gain. If you encounter sensitive issues, such as political events, emotional problems between parents, the physical aspects of the child's problems, etc., do not avoid. It is not appropriate to say directly, you can take the side of the way to inspire, do not attitude ambiguous, so that children feel at a loss.

Fourth, the attitude of cordiality, to eliminate the wariness of the conversation
To show love for their children, so that children are happy to accept the conversation, to avoid putting children on the defensive alert mentality. "Let's talk about it," which will make the child think, "Here comes another political lesson for me." Or, "You're such a fuddy-duddy," and "Let's see how I can educate you." This leaves the child with only layers of defence. If the antagonism is big, you can adopt the method of "cold treatment", temporarily delay the conversation, or "curve conversation", from another thing to start. If your child has something to talk about, put down what you are doing and listen to your child. You can't say, "I'm busy, let's talk about it later." This will lose the opportunity to close the door to the conversation, and the child will feel that he or she has not been respected and will develop a sense of distrust in the parents.

Fifth, choose the method to enhance the effect of the conversation

A philosopher said, "There are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same." Children have different personalities, which requires parents to choose the appropriate method of conversation according to the characteristics of the child. The usual methods are: the straight talk method. The child talks about an issue directly to the parent, and the parent shows his or her attitude directly to the child, which is characterised by its quickness, but is only suitable for children who are more extroverted. Indirect method, tell the child a short story, say an idiom, quote an example, talk about a few lines of poetry, or talk about films, novels, etc., to arouse the child's interest in the conversation, and then lead to the subject of the conversation in a smooth manner. In the talk of the personnel problem, the use of children easy to accept the way, can be the father or mother and the child alone to talk about, can also be three people together to talk about, you can also ask the child to talk about trusted relatives.

Sixth, the language is concise, grasp the time of the conversation

Children are against nagging, the most taboo endless nagging. After the conversation has achieved its purpose, it is appropriate to stop. The conversation can often be carried out, do not want to talk for a long time, but only for the effect. In addition, in the conversation, may wish to language humour. A philosopher said, "What is the harm in talking about the truth with a smile." Humour gives relief and makes the child want to talk happily. Sitting with a straight face is intimidating and actually "turns people away".

Talking to your child is not about lecturing him or her, but about exchanging ideas. Children are often eager to express their inner feelings, and want their parents to value and understand them. Parents should take the initiative to guide the child to speak his heart, after listening to the child's words, should be timely feedback, so that the child feels "I was understood" or "I know".