Most parents seem to agree that children should be respected, but in fact, not many parents do well. For example, we often talk to children in one tone of voice, but never talk to friends in the same tone of voice. If we record what we have said to our children and listen carefully to our tone and voice, we will find that we do not respect our children to a large extent. Because we always use the tone of teaching, coaxing and seducing to win their cooperation. Even if children cooperate with us, it is often not from the heart. If we realize that our intonation and way of speaking are wrong, we should start to change ourselves. If we talk to our children in an equal way, like talking with friends, instead of lecturing them, we can successfully exchange ideas with our children in most cases. If you are always criticizing and lecturing him, admonishing him, and picking on his faults, he will only deepen his distress, thinking that his parents do not love him, hate him, and create a distance and estrangement between them, and then the door of communication will slowly close.
Children's education, supporting the elderly, working to earn money, and health are the four mountains on the shoulders of every middle-aged parent. Lai Songqiang, a left-support and right-school educator, suggested that every parent should work hard, especially in education. This is the inheritance and continuation of the family, and the responsibility given to parents by the Family Education Promotion Law.
Children sometimes ask, "Are you angry?" You scowl and say, "No." However, the expression and tone on your face indicate that you are still angry and angry. You should know that children are very sensitive. They can quickly identify the real meaning and attitude you want to convey in your speech. However, we adults are often not sensitive and do not realize that we use an inappropriate tone when talking to children, let alone consider how this tone will affect children's psychology.
Parents always take every opportunity to instill some obedient and obedient beliefs into their children. They expect the children to act according to their own wishes in everything. They just ask "what to let him do, or how to do it", rather than let him understand "why to do it" from the heart. If we consciously cultivate a harmonious communication relationship with children when they are young, the door of such communication will be open. This kind of communication depends on whether we respect our children. Even when we disagree with them, the children are always observing unconsciously, putting the impression into their own thinking system, and then responding according to his conclusions. Children have their own inner world. If they don't get along with their parents or don't have the habit of frequent communication for some reason, then the door may be closed in the future. Don't always persuade children to abandon their own ideas and try to change and fill their minds with their own ideas. We want to shape the character, mind and quality of children, as if they were just a soft piece of plasticine, which we can "pinch". In fact, in children's eyes, this is forced and controlled. But this does not mean that we cannot influence and guide them, but only that we cannot force them to shape. Children's disobedience and even resistance sometimes come from the resistance to this kind of coercion and subjugation. It is often not that you are unreasonable or he does not understand your meaning.
Every child has his own creativity. Every child will respond to what he encounters. Every child is trying to shape and improve himself.
As parents, our responsibility is to guide our children. This requires us to observe them carefully and understand their behavioral purpose and emotional desire. If you really feel what the child is thinking, then you have a deeper understanding of the child. This is not difficult, because children have been expressing and expressing themselves freely since childhood.
If we freely accept children's thoughts, discuss with them, study the possible results, and often ask "what will happen in that case", "how will you feel", the child will think that in solving life problems, he has a companion, and in addition, parents often ask children some relevant questions is also a good way to spread information. Isn't it true that many people still think that their best friends are their parents after they grow up, and their friendship with their parents has greatly benefited them.
Without revealing their inner world to children, they are only used to disciplining children, but require children to reveal everything to themselves. This kind of unequal demand cannot achieve good results. When children reach a certain age, they do not want to confide in their parents, but have to exchange ideas with their peers. The experience of peers is limited, the experience is often superficial, and the thinking is immature. Although the children have had so-called deeper exchanges together, they are all troubled by the same problems, and relatively not much improvement. However, parents lose the opportunity to communicate and guide with children due to unequal treatment, which is a hindrance and harm to children's psychological development
Parents open their hearts to their children, showing their respect and dependence on their children, and strengthening their emotional connection with their children. This kind of communication is especially important when children are gradually mature. The age of teenagers is the golden age of children, but it is also an eventful time. If there is such close emotional relationship between parents and children, it is easy to communicate, so as to effectively avoid the problems that are easy to encounter in adolescence. To make children grow up smoothly, the relationship between parents and children can only be achieved through long-term and conscious cultivation.
When children start to ask "Why are you unhappy, dad? Are you in trouble at work", parents should seriously consider whether they should have a serious talk with their children? How much and how? If we can easily prevaricate and say to the child, "Nothing, good", or "It's none of your business, go and play with you", then we can push aside the child's kind and beautiful care for his parents! It is equivalent to keeping a caring heart out of the door! The information that children get is that my parents' affairs have nothing to do with me. As long as they don't concern me, don't care. This is why parents do not let their children have a sense of love and responsibility, which means that they openly impart and inculcate to their children the rotten sense and view of extreme self, that is, "everyone sweeps the snow in front of the door, and never mind the frost on others' tiles". It can be seen that if we do this, we will have no reason to complain that our children do not care about their parents in the future.
Summarize their success and failure with the children, and express their plans and prospects. This is the most vivid and practical life education for children, and in turn, it is also the reflection and encouragement for parents themselves. Everyone has ups and downs in life, and some people are frustrated all their lives. Reviewing and analyzing their experiences, admitting their past failures, and reviewing their lifelong regrets with their children is not an easy thing for parents. They may worry that their children will look down on them. In fact, there are many benefits to doing so. It is the most needed and precious gift for children to pass on their own experience and lessons.