Nowadays, girls at the age of 11 to 13 and boys at the age of 12 to 14 gradually enter puberty, and a few children may also be a little earlier than their peers, as long as the body is healthy, it is a normal development. Adolescence is known as the "stormy period" and the "dangerous period" of life development. Parents of adolescent children are often puzzled.
"What have we done wrong as parents? Why don't our children care about us anymore?"
"Why does the parent's concern for the child's studies make him resentful? Shouldn't we support him in his 'unprofessional endeavors'?"
"As the child's guardian, what is the law against reading the child's diary and letters? How dare a child leave home for such a trivial matter?"
"We are also highly educated, but our children always say that we are 'old-fashioned', why can't we find common topics with our children?"
"Being fashionable, chasing stars and surfing the Internet are dangerous and easy to transgress, what if my child doesn't listen to the warnings?"
Parents should realize that you are not only facing an adolescent child in your family, but a large and majestic "youth camp" and "youth army"! Parents are in a "weak position", can not and this booming youth team direct confrontation and competition. Because, into the adolescent boys and girls, to a large extent by the influence of peer groups, they think more things, the mind complex, become less "obedient", the influence of peers often beyond the authority of parents.
However, many parents of adolescent children still treat their children as "children", do everything for them, and dictate, while the physical and mental development of adolescent children is much faster than in the past, and poses all kinds of new challenges to parents. For example, a junior high school girl who thought she was too fat was forced to take a break from school due to malnutrition and amenorrhea caused by blind weight loss. A boy thought he had a serious inferiority complex because of his short genitals, had frequent masturbation behavior that he could not restrain, and was so depressed that he attempted suicide several times. However, their parents were still in the dark, and when they realized that their children had problems, they were caught off guard and became very frustrated.
These two examples are "adolescent body image troubles", also known as "body image awareness problems", but also the famous writer Hans Christian Andersen's fairy tale "Ugly Duckling" described in the "ugly duckling complex". Teenage boys and girls produce anxiety and nervousness, restlessness, often because of their own sexual development there are a variety of doubts, thinking that they are not the same as others, and the emergence of self-blame, low self-esteem.
Especially ignorance of their own sexual development, may lead to a series of psychological disorders during puberty; introverted, paranoid children, the problems related to sexuality feel difficult to speak, generally will not talk to their parents, may induce extreme psychological behavior.
At this time, parents should pay attention to all kinds of ways to communicate with their children psychologically, listen more and say less, so that they can penetrate the child's heart. Psychological communication is a shortcut to family education.