What is the scientific approach to parenting in single parent families?
Do not over-protect: After being widowed or divorced, parents often pour all their affection and love into their children and care for them. The child is left to fend for himself, not having to worry about his own living arrangements and academic plans, and everything is done for him by his father or mother. As time passes, the child's dependence will increase. Growing up in this environment, children, fragile, lack of initiative and sense of independence, once they leave the parents, will be at a loss.
Do not expect too high: the lack of a spouse, many parents take the child as their only spiritual support. Under the high expectations of the child, often with excessive pressure, heavy psychological burden. Some psychological quality is not good, can not stand this kind of pressure, then simply to the opposite, to a lack of progress, and even "broken cans". This intentional or unintentional behavior is to let parents lower expectations, so that they can breathe. Other children may be able to adhere to the hard work, do not let their parents disappointed, but long-term overload of the operation, its potential psychological damage should not be ignored. Once the limits are exceeded, the child is likely to crash and burn, and the results will be even worse.
Communicate more with your child: Due to social prejudice, single parent children may have to endure discrimination, prejudice and ridicule from their living and learning environments. Many single-parent children become very introverted, depressed, low self-esteem, and even withdrawn in character. Coupled with the monotony of single-parent family life, children are prone to feel mentally empty and lonely. Therefore, parents should not only communicate with their children, but also pay attention to help children enrich their lives.
Pay attention to the education of the child's healthy personality: in the formation process of the child's personality, the father and mother have a role that can not be replaced by each other. Lack of father's love, the child will form the so-called yin personality, that is, the performance of cowardice, sentimental, inferiority complex, lack of perseverance, decisiveness is not strong, etc.; and the lack of mother's love, the child will form the so-called yang personality, that is, the performance of aloofness, indifference, lack of love and sympathy, insecurity, narrow-mindedness and so on. Therefore, for parents of single-parent families, special attention should be paid to make up for the negative effects brought about by the lack of father's or mother's love for their children.
For example, for children who lack father's love, mothers should strengthen their independence, autonomy, bravery, decisiveness and other aspects of personality education, let them see more about the performance of male qualities of film and television movies and books, and consciously bring them into contact with a number of mature, self-confident, responsible adult men, so as to avoid the lack of father's love for the formation of bias negative personality.
In addition, there is also the problem of role education, which should not be neglected. In the process of adolescents' psychological growth, the learning of gender roles is an important link. Therefore, in single-parent families, parents should pay attention to mobilizing gender resources among relatives and friends to give their children the appropriate and proper influence to ensure the masculinity of boys and the femininity of girls, so as not to cause psychological and behavioral deviations in gender roles.
In addition, parents of single-parent families should give their children more opportunities to be the master of their own house, so that they can share their parents' worries and solve their problems, which will be conducive to their maturity as soon as possible.