It is a hard job to accompany children to do homework. I believe that many mothers feel the same way about it.
Mothers are worried about their children's studies. It's just that the children are unwilling to do homework. Today, I would like to share with you some ways to increase children's initiative in doing homework and solve the problem of children's delay and inattention.
How do you remind children to finish their homework?
"Well, after dinner, hurry to do your homework."
"Write carefully, write well..."
"Don't eat today until you finish writing."
Perhaps at this time, the obedient children may conscientiously run to the desk to finish their homework; Unconscious children may procrastinate until, under your severe warning, they reluctantly walk to the desk and do their homework while procrastinating.
In the rush of your voice: "Hurry up, why haven't you finished? Don't dawdle...", finish your homework hard.
Why do most children reject homework?
In addition to doing homework is really a laborious and brain-wasting task, there is another important reason:——
When you communicate with your child in the above language, the information he receives in his brain is actually: being commanded and controlled. When the information received by the brain is "command" or "control", the first output of the brain is actually "refusal" rather than "action".
So when you command your child to do his homework, he is already resisting instinctively.
When a person instinctively resists a thing, the probability of achieving good results is very small.
Many teachers and parents are always accustomed to command and demand when talking to their children. The words are always on the lips, "What should you do? What should you not do? What should you learn at this time? How should you obey..."
Never asked the child, "What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What should you do next..." It is no wonder that many children are very passive in doing things, and have no awareness and enthusiasm of active participation.
How important is participation to children?
Most people do not like the person who gives orders, whether in work or study, because that means you are in a passive state.
Only when you truly realize that you are a member of a team, can you really work for your team. This team can be your family, your work group... For children, it should be any group that can let them participate in learning tasks.
In other words, they give you a sense of belonging and you have a sense of participation in them.
Take homework as an example. If you only ask your child to finish homework every day, then for him, he is just finishing the teacher's requirements. In fact, at this time, the child often presents an attitude of being out of the way.
Only when he recognizes from the bottom of his heart that he is a part of the task of completing homework, and is the most important subject, can his brain output positive signals. In other words, only in this way can he consciously complete his homework.
What can we do to make children feel involved in homework?
When communicating, try to change imperative sentences into questions
"After dinner, hurry to do your homework." Change to "Now that we have finished dinner, what should we do next?"
"Write Chinese first, and then write math after finishing Chinese." Change it into "What do you want to write first?"
"Hurry up and don't dawdle." "Be serious." Change it to "What should I pay attention to when I write my homework?"
This is to let children change from passive acceptance to active thinking.
Give children time to fully think about the above questions and wait patiently for their answers
Divide a simple sentence into three or five sentences, and change the way you speak. At the beginning, you may feel very tired, and you may think it will save time to wait for the child to answer by himself rather than tell him the answer directly.
However, for children, what they say through their own thinking is more useful than what they hear.
In combination with yourself, "you must work hard" or "I must work hard!" which can motivate you more? This is also true for children.
Work with your child to develop a learning plan
Choose a good time to communicate with your child and make a study plan. For each part of the plan, fully respect the children's ideas and carefully listen to the reasons for the children's formulation.
If children have good ideas, don't be stingy with your encouragement!
Making plans is a process of early planning, which is equivalent to the stimulation of self-consciousness and the cultivation of sense of participation.
Let children set goals and reward and punishment rules by themselves
The advantage of letting children set goals by themselves is that children will have a more sense of participation, and when they complete tasks, they will have a more sense of achievement.
The formulation of objectives can start with short-term objectives, such as conscientious completion of homework, no delay, high accuracy of homework, etc; You can also start with mid-term goals, such as mid-term exam results, and the seriousness of homework within a month; You can also start with long-term goals, such as progress and achievements at the end of the term.
No matter what goals the child sets, it is enough to fully respect and help him implement them. Making rules of rewards and punishment by oneself is not only conducive to the development of children's sense of participation, but also to the development of children's sense of responsibility.
Be a gentle and firm executor
Parents should strictly implement the reward and punishment rules of their children. When children progress, don't be stingy to give them encouragement. When he fails to achieve his goal, the responsibilities he needs to bear must not be tolerated.
What should parents do when children do homework?
- Set the time and write after playing
Many parents see their children coming back from school and start urging them to "write their homework quickly, finish their homework and have a meal", "go back to the house and finish their homework, and play again" What you want to say is that the child has been in class for a whole day. Why not relax after school?
Parents can change a way, for example: Baby, go to play first. Mom will ask you to do your homework in 30 minutes. Or let the child drink some water and eat some fruit first, and then start to write homework after the brain replenishes energy.
- Let children choose
When children reject homework, parents can say this: Baby, do you want to watch cartoons or do homework first? Children know that "homework" is more important in their hearts, so in order to let parents see that they are very sensible, they will do their homework obediently.
It can also be said: Baby, go to bed at nine o'clock. There are still two hours left. You should remember to finish the homework assigned by the teacher! Rest assured of your child. When you let him choose, you also set him a task. Let him make free arrangements within the specified time!
- Break down big tasks into small goals
Not only children, but adults also have pressure when facing a lot of tasks. Teach children to classify homework tasks, and plan with notepad before writing homework: put written homework in front of them, and repeat less written homework in the middle. Write for a while and recite for a while, alternately, so that children can have a rest and not easily feel tired.
- Accompany children with homework
With the company of parents, children can study more steadfastly and concentrate more. Especially for parents who work outside for a long time, time spent with children is more precious.
Parents can read homework with their children, recite text and dictate words with their children; Give a glass of milk to children when they are studying. The happy family atmosphere can effectively improve their learning efficiency.
- Parents should love learning
If you want children to finish their homework on time, you must first make them love learning. To make children interested in learning, first of all, parents should love reading and keep learning.
Children's interests and hobbies often come from the influence of family. If parents come home from work to watch TV and play mobile phones, the children will also be affected by it. In his subconscious mind, when he comes home, he should watch TV and play mobile phones.
- Play classical music when doing homework
Some parents think that children can only concentrate on their homework while doing other things, which will distract them.
In fact, letting children learn while listening to music can improve children's attention. Relaxed classical music can relieve fatigue, extend children's time for homework, and recite text with the rhythm of music more efficiently.
- Allow children to complain
Now education is exam! Test! Test! How to deal with the middle school entrance exam without making a few more papers? What parents have experienced and children are experiencing, so parents should learn to think in a different way, allow and listen to children's complaints, and tell him: Mom and Dad are also from the past, and know that you have a lot of homework, but Mom and Dad believe that you will finish very well!
When children's complaints are understood and responded to, they will be easier to accept their parents' suggestions, and thus more focused on completing homework.