In today's society, it is not uncommon to have friends of the opposite sex. Whether at work or in life, there are many interactions between people of the opposite sex. I think what people actually want to ask is whether there are some hidden urges or desires behind such close contact between the opposite sex?

In this way, the question becomes a bit complicated and can't really be answered with a yes or no. Today, we're going to talk about this topic in depth.

What Evolutionary Psychology Thinks

My first answer is that the answer may vary by gender.

Specifically, looking at the question of whether or not there is pure friendship between the opposite sex creates an asymmetrical or different feeling for males and females, which is supported by quite a few psychological studies.

Before I get into these psychological studies, I must give a precautionary note. When solving the problem of the relationship between the sexes, psychology usually resorts to the evolutionary process, and evolutionary psychology usually gives people a less favorable impression, or even a more evil, very naked and utilitarian one.

What is the purpose of evolution? Survival and reproduction. This is an evolutionary purpose that is shared by all of humanity and is very far away from us, not a very recent motivation experienced by individuals in the present. That is, while we as individuals don't all necessarily think this way, we as humans do have such a prior motivation.

And there is a divergence between males and females when it comes to the practice of survival and reproduction, with males wanting to spread their genes more and females wanting more access to resources to nurture their genes.

Why does this asymmetry arise? Because men have an innate patriarchal uncertainty; they don't know if the child is their own, so all they can do is spread it as far as they can. Women, on the other hand, know with certainty that the child is theirs, so all they have to do is acquire the resources to raise it well.

I don't think this is a very correct assumption, and it's one that's been criticized a lot in the psychology community. But in the absence of a better theory, most people are still using this assumption to make deductions and extrapolations. Based on the basic theoretical assumptions of evolutionary psychology, a great deal of empirical research has come about.

Men are more romantic, women are more pure

Next, let's take a look at a specific study on the subject.

In 2012, several psychologists at the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire did a very interesting study. The researchers brought 88 college students to the lab, all of whom were friends of the opposite sex, and declared that they were friends with each other rather than lovers. To make sure they were telling the truth, the researchers had them sign non-disclosure agreements before testing them separately.

The study found that there were significant gender differences between men and women when it came to experiencing opposite-sex friendships. Men would report that they were more attracted to their female friends and also believed that their female friends were attracted to them. However, this is actually not the case with women, who do not feel much of this way and are less likely to be attracted to their male friends. There is a great deal of research that proves that, in a general sense, men overestimate how much women like them, and to no one's surprise, this is true in friendships as well.

The truth is that a male's estimation of how attracted a female friend is to him has nothing to do with what the female friend really thinks, but rather with his own feelings. Oftentimes, men get caught up in a sense of self-confirmation and will only see things that convince them that the other person likes them, while ignoring signals that the other person doesn't mean anything to them.

Moreover, men believe that the attraction is mutual and feel that their female friends must really like them too. However, women don't see it that way and tend to think that such attraction is never mutual, or at least that they are not attracted to them. In other words, men find it much more difficult to be just friends with the opposite sex than women do.

So, for the same heterosexual friendship relationship, men and women may experience it quite differently. Men will see the relationship as more romantic, as in both parties are attracted to each other and they like each other more. Women, on the other hand, will feel a little more pure, such as not feeling attracted to the other person and just being friends.