We are born with the ability of self-control, even if sometimes we are not able to use this ability. These are the ten practical and effective methods extracted from Stanford University's most popular psychology course "self-control". Let's change old habits, cultivate healthy new habits, overcome procrastination, focus on key points, and manage pressure.
Methods to improve self-control 1. Meditation
Meditation is not to let you think nothing, but to let you not be too distracted and not forget your original goal.
The human brain is like a student with a strong thirst for knowledge. It has a response to experience that is beyond everyone's imagination. If you let your brain learn math every day, it will become more and more good at math. If you let it worry, it will worry more and more. If you let it focus, it will become more and more focused. So we can strengthen self-control by training the brain. Among these methods of training the brain, the simplest and painless is meditation.
Neurologists have found that if you often let your brain meditate, it will not only become good at meditation, but also improve your self-control, improve your ability to concentrate, manage stress, control impulses and recognize yourself. According to research, daily meditation training lasting for 8 weeks can improve people's self-consciousness and self-control in daily life.
Methods to improve self-control 2. Slow down breathing
Slowing down breathing can activate the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain that is related to self-control), improve the heart rate variability (people with high self-control have higher heart rate variability), and help your body and mind adjust from stress to self-control.
When we are faced with the challenge of willpower, we may try to reduce the breathing rate to 4~6 times per minute, that is, 10~15 seconds for each breath, which is slower than usual. After a few minutes of training, you will feel calm, have a sense of control, be able to control your desires and meet challenges. Research shows that persisting in this exercise can enhance your stress resistance and help you reserve willpower. So let's do 1-2 minutes of breathing training every day to improve willpower reserves.
Methods to improve self-control 3. Keep exercising
If you feel too tired to exercise, or you don't have time to exercise, you might as well take exercise as a way to recover your physical strength and willpower.
For starters, the effect of exercise on willpower is immediate. 15-minute treadmill exercise can reduce the temptation of food and cigarettes. The long-term effect of exercise is more obvious. It can not only relieve ordinary daily stress, but also resist depression. Exercise is like meditation, which can make our brain fuller and faster.
What kind of exercise is most effective? The body and brain are in harmony. So what you want to do is the best starting point. It can be cleaning, walking, swimming and shopping.
Methods to improve self-control 4. Sleep
Lack of adequate sleep has the same effect on the brain as mild intoxication. We all know that people have no self-control when they are drunk.
Many people understand the need for adequate sleep, but in the middle of the night, they always fall into the state of "doing one more thing", and then brush the circle of friends, microblog and simple book for the last time. If you know you can get more sleep, but can't go to bed earlier, don't think about sleeping. First think about what you want, enough sleep and stronger willpower? Or wandering in the nihilistic network world at night? The real problem for us to "get more sleep" is to stay away from things that make us unable to sleep.
Methods to improve self-control 5. Train "willpower muscles"
As long as you train, all your muscles can become stronger. If self-control is a muscle, we should also train it.
Learn to control small things that you would not control before, so as to train self-control muscles and improve the overall willpower. These small things include changing posture, holding a handle every day, giving up sweets, and recording expenses. Although these small self-control exercises seem insignificant, they can help us cope with the willpower challenges we are most concerned about, such as concentrating on work, resisting temptation, and better controlling emotions.
Here we will provide you with three "self-control muscle" exercise modes.
- "Don't do": don't swear casually (or say some mantra), don't cross your legs when sitting down, and don't use common hands for daily activities, such as eating and opening the door.
- "I want to do": do something every day (but not what you are already doing) to form a habit. For example, call home every day, meditate for five minutes every day, and find something to throw away or reuse every day.
- "Self monitoring": carefully record a matter that you don't usually pay attention to, which can be your expenditure, diet or time spent playing mobile phones.
In fact, we can choose an exercise related to our own willpower challenge. For example, my goal is to lose weight, so I do 10 sit-ups before going to bed every day. Even exercising willpower every day in the seemingly stupid and simplest way can also accumulate energy for our willpower challenge.
Methods to improve self-control 6. There is no difference between tomorrow and today
Think of every decision you make today as a commitment to every day in the future.
This is an effective way to help us overcome the idea of "tomorrow after tomorrow". Don't ask yourself, "Do I want to eat this candy now?", but ask yourself, "Do I want to eat a candy every afternoon for a year?" Or, if you know that you should do something but procrastinate from time to time, don't ask yourself, "Do I want to do it today or tomorrow?", but ask yourself, "Do I want to bear the consequences of procrastination forever?"
Are you charging tomorrow? Do you tell yourself that tomorrow will make up for today's mistakes? If so, do you really make up for it? If there is no compensation, you should tell yourself from now on that tomorrow is no different from today. When you want to change your behavior, try to reduce the variability of your behavior instead of reducing some behavior.
Methods to improve self-control 7. Self-understanding
Self-criticism will reduce enthusiasm and self-control, and it is also the most likely factor to cause depression.
In the process of self-control, you will inevitably fail. When you fail, please forgive yourself. Many people feel that self-criticism is the basis of self-control, and self-understanding will lead to self-indulgence. However, many studies have shown that self-criticism can reduce enthusiasm and self-control, and it is also the most likely factor to cause depression. On the contrary, self-understanding will enhance enthusiasm and self-control.
When we encounter setbacks, please consider from the following three perspectives:
- How do you feel? Do you remember your first feeling after failure? Notice if that feeling is self-blame. If so, what did you say to yourself? The perspective of self-knowledge allows you to see your feelings clearly, and you will not be eager to escape.
- Everyone loses self-control sometimes. Can you imagine that other people you respect and care about have experienced the same struggles and setbacks? This perspective will make the voice of self-criticism and self-doubt less sharp.
- If your good friend experiences the same setbacks, how would you comfort him? How would you encourage him to pursue his goals? This perspective will show you the way back.
Methods to improve self-control 8. Wait for ten minutes
To gain a calm and wise mind, we need to arrange a ten-minute waiting time in front of all temptations.
When we are faced with temptation, we may try to wait for ten minutes. If you still want it after ten minutes, you can have it. But within 10 minutes, you must always think about your real goal to resist temptation. If you can, you can also create some physical (or visual) distances. If you want to overcome temptation and procrastination and do what you want to do, you can change this rule to "persist for 10 minutes, then you can give up." When the 10 minutes are over, you will allow yourself to stop. But you will find that as long as you start, you will want to continue.
Methods to improve self-control 9. Meet yourself in the future
Meeting your future self can not only increase your savings, but also help you cope with all kinds of willpower challenges and do your best.
Those who think that their future self is closely connected with the present will protect themselves from the worst impulses, more clearly define their goals, sacrifice their present happiness, and invest in their future self.
There are three ways to make the future real and credible and let you know yourself in the future.
- Create a future memory. For example, imagine you are shopping in the supermarket next week or you are holding a reservation meeting. When you imagine the future, your brain will think more specifically and directly about the results you choose now. The more realistic and vivid your vision of the future, the less you will regret your decision in the future.
- Send an email to your future self. Describe to your future self what you are going to do now, which will help you achieve your long-term goals. What hope do you have for your future self? What do you think you will become? You can also imagine yourself in the future looking back at yourself now. Will the future self express gratitude for what he has done now?
- Imagine yourself in the future. Can you imagine yourself who you want to be, who can promise to change and achieve results? Or can you imagine a person who is burdened with the consequences of not changing? How do you feel about your past choices. Will you feel proud and grateful, or will you repent?
Methods to improve self-control 10. Infection of willpower
Self-control is affected by social identity, which makes both pride and temptation infectious.
Our brain will integrate other people's goals, beliefs and behaviors into our own decisions. Similarly, our behavior also affects countless other people. Each choice we make is also an encouragement or temptation for others.
For the infection of willpower, there are three ways to improve self-control and resist temptation.
- Strengthen your immune system. In order to avoid repeating the failure of others' willpower, at the beginning of each day, take some time to think about your goals.
- Infecting willpower. Set an example for yourself and ask yourself: What will the man with strong will do?
- The power of pride. Open your willpower challenge in your circle of friends, and imagine how proud you will be after the success of your willpower challenge.
- Turn it into a collective project. Can you stick to the challenge of willpower with everyone? Or win over others?